In between pay checks

Starting a full time job while finishing out a part time is exhausting. Whoever said taking on two jobs is a good idea? It really isn’t. I don’t remember what sleep is anymore.

Working 6 days, 9 hours each at one job then 3 days the other; plus hanging out with my friends. Sleep is hardly part of the equation. Thank god for caffeine or I’d be doomed!!!!

Plus I don’t get paid until the end of the month, so hanging on a prayer financially. Welcome to the adult world. Blahhhh

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I Probably Don’t Like You If…..

I love when people question why nobody likes them. Well darling there are so many possible reasons. Some being:

1. You complain ALL the time. I mean like clockwork whining. I get it, we all have bad days. But nobody wants to listen to your sob stories every second. Smell some stinkin flowers, suck up those tears and find something positive to say. Life is short stop harping.

2. You don’t like yourself. Confidence is key people. If you don’t like yourself odds are nobody else will either. So instead of dreading your insecurities, find things you like about yourself. If you don’t like your weight…work out. If you don’t like your hair, get a hair cut. Find ways to enjoy who you are and others will as well.

3. You’re just plain mean. Now we all make fun of people now and then. Gossip may be rude but it’s easy to get into. But nobody likes a person who stabs everyone in the back. If you turn around and talk badly about everyone, other people are going to assume you do the same about them. So try to be nicer. Get a filter and stop treating other people like objects to be reviewed.

4. You’re lazy. We all like to relax here and there, but laziness is not an attractive quality. If you don’t ever want to do your job at work, and spend the entire shift counting the minutes until you’re off; chances are you aren’t going to be the first invited to hang out. People like motivated people. Have goals, have a life, put down the potato chip bag and go for a walk. When people see someone who really lives their life 110%, they want to be a part of that energy.

5. You smell like a chimney. Personally I can’t stand people who smell eternally like tobacco. Smoking is a personal choice I get that, but do you seriously realize how bad you smell?

6. You’re ditzy. I can’t stand when intelligent people pretend to be stupid. It’s not cute, people only laugh at you because you’re acting like an imbecile. Education is attractive. Grow up and quit pretending ignorance.

Sending out good vibes is easy. It just takes knowing yourself enough to know what bad habits you’re into. Naturally I’m a pessimist, but I spend every day trying to correct that. I don’t want to be the storm cloud that everyone wants to avoid.

Inferno

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Red is for all of the wasted years
Orange for the days I drenched in tears

Yellow for the joy we had once long ago
White for the passion through my veins it once did flow

And blue for sadness as I think of you
Because once those words you said seemed oh so true

But like flames on the wood that supports what we had
Everything has been destroyed, I can no longer feel sad

Our bridge is burned and despite the ache
I can no longer provide for you parts of me to break

I’ll always love the you I once did know
But I can no longer care and through the ash a new me will someday grow

Southern Inhospitables

Halloween isn’t the only time of year people pretend to be someone they’re not. Moving down south I’ve come to realize how fake southern hospitality truly is. Those sweet southern accents and blessings to your heart are just a pile of sugar coated horse crap.

I always pictured down south to be all porch sitting and friendly sweet tea drinkers. I guess it never occurred to me that all sweet tea is, is sugar coated bitter tea. The people here aren’t too far off.

Now I’m not saying all southerners are rude, but the ones I’ve met really get under my skin. Southern hospitality is just PC for two faced with a twang. Being a cold blooded New Yorker, if I don’t like you I’ll be straight up with you. Here I listen to people “blessing each others hearts” and then talking bad about one another the moment they’re out of ear shot.

I’d take honest hatred over sugar-coated bull anyday. It’s a whole different ball park where the winter doesn’t snow. And I’m about two howdys and a y’all away from punching the next bell who blesses my little heart, ya hear?

I just will never be able to tolerate plastic people. And I know that makes me a prude, but at least I’m an honest one.

Thanks For Offending Me

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No seriously, thank you. Sometimes there are things about myself that I didn’t even know. I don’t get offended often, but when I do, my grandmother’s voice echoes in my mind: “if you’re offended, fix it.”

She’s right, if something offends you, chances are the other person’s opinion is right. So instead of moping and getting upset, I find ways this opinion can help me become a better person.

We live in a society of PC nazis. Everyone walking on eggshells, afraid to offend someone; but the moment they’re offended you better believe you’re getting an earful. We are all entitled to our opinions, so why do we let opinions dictate our lives?

Shake it off, let go of the offense, and find out why it offends you. If someone says you whine too much, you probably do. Fix it. If someone writes an article about girls who gossip and you feel offended. Don’t gossip and it won’t apply to you.

There’s almost always a reason for your offended feeling, and an easy solution if you look deep into yourself instead of taking it out on the other person. So thank you to the people who’ve offended me over the years, your criticism has made me a better person.

Claiming Independence

A lot of women are afraid of claiming their independence. I have a lot of female friends who wouldn’t dream of hanging out with guys on their own. Now I know in this day and age there’s a lot of necessary mistrust in society. But having lady parts should NOT be the defining factor of whether you go to do something or not. One of my shefriends recently asked me how I’m so comfortable hanging out with people, while I’m still uncertain of my trust level with them. Here are some tips for the ladies who are afraid to claim their independence:

1. If you feel you can’t trust them, why would you bother hanging out with them?
If you have only known them for a short period of time and you already are having little red flags, obviously you shouldn’t hang out with them. I try to evaluate people before I spend time with them. Most of the time all it takes is watching how that person interacts with the people around them.

2. Hang out in groups at first
If you feel uneasy around the opposite sex, or even the same sex for that matter, try to invite other people to join you. It gives you the freedom to get to know the person in question without the fear and pressure.

3. Have a code word
This one is my personal favorite. Find a friend that you trust or a parent and make up a code word. Let that person know who you’re hanging out with and shoot them a text when you get there. And come up with a code word for safety. So if there’s ever a moment when you feel uncomfortable you can text that person that specific word and they know you need help. Pick a word that is bizarre enough that your friend will know it’s an emergency, but a coded word so that the people around you aren’t alarmed. My best friend knows that when I send her the word “platapus” she needs to call me and give me an excuse to get out of there.

4. Pepper spray
If you’re afraid to go it alone buy a little can of pepper spray. It only costs like $10/$15 at Walmart or your local sporting store and this stuff packs a punch. The initial sight of pepper spray is usually enough to dissuade your predator anyhow. So I recommend carrying one of these baby’s in your purse just incase.

5. You ARE allowed to leave
Should you ever feel extremely uncomfortable with a situation…leave. Seriously, nobody would ever blame you for faking a headache if you felt the need. Sometimes we get ourselves in situations in life where the little voice in our head screams “get out”. Do NOT ignore that voice. Just leave, you’ll save yourself a life of pain if you do.

Hopefully these tips will be of some use for you girls out there. I know it’s hard being young and some of us have the misfortune to have had experiences leading us to mistrust. But you should never feel limited based on your gender. If you want to see Paris but don’t have a travel buddy, get on that plane and buy pepper spray to accompany you. Or Learn self defense, I don’t think anyone should have to be limited by fear.